Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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