its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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