She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
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he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
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Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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