I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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