I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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