Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize