By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
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After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
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Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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