now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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