who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I am available for nakedness
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize