drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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