Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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