How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
this boner is exhausting
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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