Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
My life is pants optional.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize