there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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