there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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