You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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