VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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