Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
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So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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