I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize