This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
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How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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