No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
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I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
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I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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