You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
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