Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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