Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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