this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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