so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he puts the penis in happiness.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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