He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
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Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
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I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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