Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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