Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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