dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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