I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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