I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize