shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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