I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
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I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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