exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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