Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
babies were throwing up all over the place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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