by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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