I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
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think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
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What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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