A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize