My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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