grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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