come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
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I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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