i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
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everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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