sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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