If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize