my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize