They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize