'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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