he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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