Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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